If the people in our lives know we are Christians, than like it or not, we’re on display- especially when it comes to marriage. I’ll be the first one to tell you I have royally messed up many a disciple moment.

People that know us already know where we are on Sundays and that worship is a priority. But what we will never know this side of heaven is how astutely that same group watches us the other 6 days. It’s an opportunity. A golden, profound opportunity to shine the lights that God has given us. We have a guide that can’t be wrong – His word. And God might pick us to be the vessel to guide them back to a relationship with Him. What an honor that could be!

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Wives, you are a gorgeous light to Our Father, shining bright with a flame that’s been divinely gifted. But every nagging moment, every time we remind our handsome husband of his shortcomings, or when we speak to him with contempt or blatant disrespect that he’s just too daft to understand, we blow it out. Our tongues get all of us into heaps of trouble. Trust me when I say, I’m completely guilty in that category. “Do as I say, not as I do” would have to be the title of that blog, or I would have no business writing it.

Proverbs 25:24 
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
 than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

So not in a corner of your house or the corner of your property. Nope. You need to get up on the roof and then pick a corner – that’s the analogy here. OUCH!

Proverbs 31:10 
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

Ladies, Genesis 2:23 tells us that when God presented Eve to Adam, “Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” Eve was perfect for Adam in every way because God couldn’t help but make her that way. Adam’s reply reveals his need for Eve. “At last” he had someone to share his life that felt perfectly paired for him. And Eve wasn’t flawed, her use of God’s gift of free will was. Many times that’s how I catch myself in a bad spot in my marriage. It’s after I’ve abused God’s gift to me that it hurts. That’s when I fall, too.

When husbands don’t honor their wives, when they joke around about the “old ball and chain” or diminish her contribution and value to their beloved family, when they don’t love on her the way she longs for, they blow it. Men are the spirituals leaders of our families. That was divinely designed – aka God’s rank and order -not ours. Early on you men set the tone in how your children understand the incredibly sophisticated and confusing dynamic between men and women and how they interact. Both your sons and daughters are following your lead. The way you treat your wife is influencing and molding the choices your children will someday make in choosing a spouse.

Later in life, the wisdom you’ve accumulated is spread like seeds into the lives you touch. Deuteronomy 4:9 “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Let them be known to your children and your children’s children”.

Down the road, your grandchildren will watch you like little stalkers because they will see you as a wise owl. That’s a tremendous responsibility and honor. FACT: You will impact generations of whatever your last name is. Treat it as an enormous compliment and privilege. Be a light. Ask Our Father in Heaven to let His light shine through you to lead your family. Remember, you’re lighting the whole house whether children are still living under your roof or not. Ask Him “to guide our feet into the way of peace.” Luke 1:79

Our flames are so delicate and fragile because we’re human, but God’s flame is ablaze always and incapable of being squelched. Remember, it’s as easy to relight it, as it is to blow it out. When you turn to God, He will always give you light. That doesn’t mean we won’t go through trials, pain and even anguish sometimes, but if we have a relationship with Him, He can turn it into joy. I can tell you that first hand.

Consider having a candle lit in your homes all the time. If one of you feels the other is dishonoring the sacred bond of marriage, blow it out. No quarreling, no eruptions of emotion, just blow it out. Don’t say a word. The person that “blew it” will know it. But then, relight it. Why? Because score keeping isn’t lifting either of you up and neither of you are perfect. This whole candle thing may lead to peaceful resolution – maybe even improve communication by having a referee either of you can turn to for – “Hey – knock it off! You’re blowing out our divinely gifted light.”